Last night I googled someones name that I shouldnt be googling because thinking of this person gives me chills. All the time. I googled to check if this person has a tumblr. Haha ah how lame of me.
I dont know. I should be over it. And some majority part of me tells me I am.
So wheres that rest of me at? Lost. In thoughts. Reminscing. Pointless.
(Yet strangely it wasnt much of an awkard balloon moment few days ago)
But it’s pointless because it was way in the past. We’re from different worlds.
And it probably didnt mean a lot to you as much as it meant a lot to me.
I need to get over thinking pointless things because I’m gonna see you more than that time nowadays. I’m gonna see you, smile and be like “hey!” and talk ever so casually because that’s typical. It’d be nice to talk to you like that again, as friends, as someone that you havent seen in a long time. No awkward balloon moments.
I just dont wanna walk away after I finished a conversation with you thinking about the past. I want to be fully over it and its pathetic how that 10% of me makes me think. Those stupid ‘what ifs’
You moved along so there’s no lingering for me to do. And trying to pry into your mind and figring you out was a hard lesson learned.Why risk it again? Despite how similar we seem, there’s enough difference onto the reason why it cant. I’m growing up, not dumbing down back to a naive young girl having her heart set on something that wasnt there.
Alright. Ending the blog here because I always get some weird creeps that you’ll read this and awkwardness arises. But again. C’est la vie. It could be anyone I’m talking about.
I’m up early morning to for a hair appointment at 9:30am. And 3 days til my 18th birthday (:
Yeah, I think they did a pretty good job, considering the fact that I tell them a lot of things and that we can openly talk about sex, drugs, alcohol, and boys (which fits all those categories). Hahaha. Hell, my brother and I gave them *gigglegiggle* on their 20th anniversary and I dropped a condom in the bag there, too. Ahahaha.
I mean, I was talking with Larry last night, anyway, and yeah, talking about my parents. Geez, they’re cool. I mean, they’re not like Jay and Michael (OMG, THOSE NAMES),
who are toooo fucking hilarious, but my parents have received the “I love your parents” / “Your parents are cool” / “Your parents are like.. MY IDEAL PARENTS IN LAW” comments from my friends multiple times.
I don’t know, we had this conversation in the car on Saturday, after my dad got the mail and we headed towards church.
Mom: Oh, Aaron has mail! Let’s open it! Arianne: You can’t do that, that’s illegal, he’s an adult and 18 now. Mom: Well, I can still open your mail and your Daddy’s mail. Arianne: I know that. Mom: You know why I can open your daddy’s mail? Arianne: Because.. you’re married? Mom: No, it’s not a legal matter. Arianne: Because.. you trust each other with all your heart Mom: No, i— Dad: MOMMY, YOU DON’T TRUST ME?! Mom: Wh-NO Dad: YOU DON’T TRUST ME, AYYYYYY NOOOO Mom: NO THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT Dad: I will see you in court, honey. All these twenty years for.. for NOTHING *fakes crying* Mom: NO I TRUST YOU I TRUST YOU Arianne: *laughing the whole time* Dad: *smiles* Okay !
They’re too cool for you to see online. Hahaha.
I totally wish I had your parents too, Arianne. Hands down. You’re lucky you get to be so open with them. And..oh god I shouldnt even ask what *gigglegiggle* actually is.
You know that feeling when you find someone attractive? You enter in a room and your eyes meet with a guy. And not just any guy for that matter, a really cute guy, one who fits your type really. And every girl has a type. You try not to be obvious, trying to hide that smile thats about to dance upon your face. But really its a nice feeling. The way you brush shoulders past this person, or how you notice from your perephial( sp ) vision that he’s looking your direction until you turn you head he turns away.
You’re even dumb enough to text your best friend about this cute guy at a family party full of adults. She tells you go talk to him, but you do, and you really do but you dont want to be the center of attention of approaching some random guy (especially in the eyes of your parents) to start flirting with them. So you continue these subtle actions, though you feel that spark in your chest everytime this cute guy walks your way and looks your direction. And oh my god, did he just wave at you? Yes he just did. and you wave back as casual as possible, with that small casual smile of yours.
Sadly even though you’re tempted to know more of this cute guy, the family morals hold you back. But you’re not too dissapointed. Because then tt’s the way he says goodbye to you before he steps outside the door to head back home. That makes your night. Even though the only thing you know is his name and his taste in music.
Subtle attraction. It’s not love. It’s not even a crush. Just attraction. We all have experience that and that what keeps us going really in the search of relationship. This is what we single people live by because hey, you may never see this person ever again in your life, but its that little spark that makes you feel nice (or at least feel pretty) Its really far from being a crush but simple subtle attraction. Completely harmless, but lighthearted fun.