i like how everything is my life is going up except for
family. Everything is just going downhill from here. I know you’re stressed but dont call me out on all these things in the process. I make a mistake and you treat me like I’m the worst kid in the world. Like I’m taking crack or something.
I need to get my license pronto.
1) I’m going to show them I’m not irresponsibile 2) I need to get out of here.
People have told me to go after what’s convenient, what’s easier, what will obviously make me happy.
And yet I throw all that away to strive for something distant, something I thought in the beginning ‘there’s no way that this could work out for me’
I could’ve gotten the first best thing that came to me, gave the nicest one a chance, took the most convenient one and maybe..maybe be happy.
But why did I take the opposite road? Why did I keep telling myself to go after a goal that as some told me it was unattainable.
It was this gut feeling.
At one point, I was so close to giving up. So close to letting it go and having something else that was already there. But this feeling told me not to. This feeling told me that staying was the best option.
This gut feeling helped me through a lot, solved any doubts, got me to take risks, and got me to where I am now.
I know some people dont understand. They tell me things like ‘why are you trying? there’s this for you..its better”
But I dont listen.
It’s because..what I’m going after just feels right. Even if it’s not the biggest thing, it makes me happy. Even if it’s the smallest thing, it makes me want to strive, to keep holding on, to be patient, to just..keep trying.
It’s not the most simplest thing. Something I cant understand completely right away. But at the end of the day, it makes me feel fine. Like everything’s going to be alright.
This is something that will take awhile. Maybe it wont work out for me. Maybe it will. If it doesn’t, I can proudly say I tried my best. And if it does..then I know I’ll be not only proud of myself, but happy.
I've come to realize that you can't depend on other people to get what you want. You gotta gather up your nerve, throw yourself out there, and get what you desire. You gotta dream big and run after your goals, because no one is gonna do it for you.